What is premature ejaculation?
Premature ejaculation (PE) is one of the most common sexual problems and means 'climaxing too quickly'. The condition is most often described as being an inability to delay ejaculation to a point when it is mutually desirable for both partners. The definition of when ejaculation is premature is subjective. While some men have trouble controlling their orgasm upon entry, others consider 5-10 minutes of copulation too little time. How long a man is able to last is not the important factor in diagnosing premature ejaculation. The crucial issue is if a man and partner is satisfied with the length of coitus.
What causes premature ejaculation? Most men have experienced this problem at some time in their life. Premature ejaculation was once thought to be caused by drugs or certain infections such as urethritis, but popular wisdom suggests it is more psychological in nature. The exact cause of the condition, however, still remains a mystery.
Premature ejaculation often occurs during the first experiences with sex, and in this case is most commonly attributed to anxiety. The majority of men gradually learn to control their orgasm, and have no lasting effect. Some men will develop a longer-term anxiety toward sex, which can cause a prolonged experience with premature ejaculation.
Sexual behavior is also a factor. The longer the period since last ejaculating, the quicker young men typically reach orgasm. Younger men tend to ejaculate more quickly than older men, as experience seems to be associated with ejaculatory control. Recently, in a survey of several thousand British males approximately 10 per cent of them said that they 'often' or 'sometimes' had this trouble.
It was found that it is commoner in younger men - which is not surprising, as there's a distinct tendency for it to improve with age. Men generally get better control as they grow older.
However, a 2004 survey in Europe showed that middle-aged men still have this problem.
Fortunately, good treatments are available.
In most cases it does matter - because it makes people unhappy and frustrated. And in severe cases PE can threaten or even ruin a marriage - simply because it spoils the sex lives of both partners. Sometimes, the condition is so bad that the man cannot even manage to have intercourse because he invariably ejaculates before he can get into the vagina. This can be devastating for a man's self-confidence. And it can be hugely frustrating and annoying for his partner, too as neither party gets a lot of satisfaction.
Treatment
So, what can be done for PE?
If you have very mild PE (for instance, if you can 'last' a good five minutes but would like to last 10), there's probably no point in going to a doctor. Why? Because you should be able to improve matters by simple 'distraction techniques'. This means turning your mind to something else when you sense that a climax is near.
For instance, you can:
Some men try to treat themselves with a local anaesthetic gel. This product is advertised to the public as a good way to 'damp down' sexual sensation in the penis. But we do not advise using it firstly, because the local anaesthetic can 'dull' the sex sensation for the partner, and secondly because it can sometimes cause a distressing skin sensitivity reaction.
If PE is causing you more significant problems, it is best to consult an expert for treatment. You should go to a doctor, psychotherapist or counsellor who is trained in the methods of curing PE for instance at Relate or British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy (BASRT) .
I am both a relate trained counsellor and an associate member of BASRT so you will be able to discuss your situation in total confidence.